Lady looking for Hospital

A lady was standing in the middle of a busy street. 

She saw an Officer and asked
 
Lady: Officer, can you tell me how to get to the Hospital?
Officer: Just stand where you are!!!

My Dad belive in ghosts

Son : hey dad, do you believe in ghosts ??

Dad : theres no such thing as ghosts

Son : but our maid said theres ghosts...

Dad : pack your bags!!!, meet me out in the car, now!!!

Son : why??

Dad : we don't have a maid !!!!

Money Grows on Trees

Kid : Mom can you lend me 30 bucks??

Mom : No, do you think money grows on trees??

Kid : What is money made of??

Mom : Paper.

Kid :Where does paper come from??

Dying Man and his Will

Lying on his deathbed, a wealthy man was instructing his lawyer on last-minute changes in his will.

Man : I wish to leave everything I own, to my wife.

        However, there is one stipulation.

Lawyer : And that is?

Man : In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death.

Lawyer : Why make such an unusual request?

Man : Because I want someone to be sorry I died.

Old Man and Beautiful Woman

An old man enters into a bar, takes a chair, and starts crying.

Bartender : What’s wrong?

Old man : I married a beautiful woman two days ago. She’s twenty-five, intelligent, a marvelous cook, a meticulous housekeeper, extremely sensitive to my wants and needs, very giving and my best friend.

Bartender : But that sounds great! So why are crying?

Old man : I can’t remember where I live!

Positive Attitude

A baby mosquito came back from his first flying.

His dad asked, "How do you feel?"

He replied, "It was great. Everybody was clapping for me!! "

Financial Planning Jokes : Better Financial Planning

One evening at an investment seminar, man spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman take his business card.

And three weeks later, She became his StepMother.


You May also like :
Financial Planning Jokes : New - York Banker and a Pakistani  

Financial Planning Jokes : Extra ordinary future planning