Lawyer crying over wife's grave

Lawyer crying over wife's grave that said " A Lawyer's wife."

Friend: "Don't cry man."
Lawyer: "It's not that, they forgot to write my phone number on the tombstone." -D ~D

A Lawyer and his BMW

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. 
When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

Lawyer: Officer, look what they've done to my Beemer!


Officer: You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!

Officer: You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!

Lawyer: Oh my god. Where's my Rolex!

Dying Man and his Will

Lying on his deathbed, a wealthy man was instructing his lawyer on last-minute changes in his will.

Man : I wish to leave everything I own, to my wife.

        However, there is one stipulation.

Lawyer : And that is?

Man : In order to inherit, she must marry within six months of my death.

Lawyer : Why make such an unusual request?

Man : Because I want someone to be sorry I died.

Poet and Scientist

A poet and a scientist were traveling together on a plane. 

Scientist: I'll ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me $5. Then, you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $5."

Poet:  Sorry!! I am busy.

Scientist: Look, if you can't answer it, you give me $5, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you $50.

Poet:  Okay.

Scientist: What is the exact distance between the Earth and the Moon?

Poet: (took a $5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the scientist.)

Scientist: Okay, now it's your turn.

Poet: (The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked) All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?

Scientist: (He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. As the plane was landing the scientist gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a $50 bill.)

Poet: (accepted it graciously, getting ready to stand up.)

Scientist: Wait! ,you can't do this to me! What's the answer?


Poet: (The poet looked at the scientist and calmly put a $5 bill into his hand.)



 

Financial Planning Jokes : Better Financial Planning

One evening at an investment seminar, man spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said to her, "but in just a few years my father will die and I will inherit $200 million."

Impressed, the woman take his business card.

And three weeks later, She became his StepMother.


You May also like :
Financial Planning Jokes : New - York Banker and a Pakistani  

Financial Planning Jokes : Extra ordinary future planning

Financial Planning Jokes : Extra ordinary future planning

Once an oldman was waiting for train.

A young man came to him and asked time.

Oldman refused to tell the time.

Boy asked the reason.

Oldman said : If i tell you the time, then u will ask my name,job etc.

Then i will ask about you, both of us will be frank.

By chance u may get a seat with me.

Then u may get down at my station.

My daughter will come to receive me.

She will meet you. She is beautiful.

You may fall in love with her. she too.

Then she may insist me to marry you.

And i am sorry, I don't want such a poor son-in-law who doesn't even have its own watch to see time.

You May also like :
Financial Planning Jokes : New - York Banker and a Pakistani
Financial Planning Jokes : Better Financial Planning

Financial Planning Jokes :New - York Banker and a Pakistani

A Pakistani walks into a bank, in New-York city. He tells the loan officer that he need $5000 and against it my FERRARI is available for security...
Officer agrees.
All the bank members laughed at him that he borrowed $5000 against $250,000 car...
Banker parks the car into their garage. after 2 weeks Pakistani returns and repay $5000 and interest $20. Bank manager asks, why you borrow $5000? Although you are multi billionaire...
He replies, where else in New-York City can I park my car for 2 weeks for only $20 and expect it to be there when I return.
Aah, the mind of a Pakistani 

You May also like :
Financial Planning Jokes : Better Financial Planning
Financial Planning Jokes : Extra ordinary future planning