Woman and her Baby’s Diaper

Why did the woman only change her baby’s diaper once a month?

On the package it read "good for up to 15 pounds"

The Sun Of My Life

Boy: Would You Like To
         Be The Sun Of My Life ?

Girl : Awwww Yes !

Boy : Then Stay 9,995,887.6
          Miles Away From Me

Doctor and Good news

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."

Patient: "Go with the good news first."

Doctor: "You have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "What?! How about the bad news?"

Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.

Lawyer crying over wife's grave

Lawyer crying over wife's grave that said " A Lawyer's wife."

Friend: "Don't cry man."
Lawyer: "It's not that, they forgot to write my phone number on the tombstone." -D ~D

Mr. Bean Jokes


Interviewer: Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Mr Bean: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

*****

One tourist from U.S.A. asked Mr Bean:

Tourist: Any great man born in this village???

Mr Bean: no sir, only small Babies!!!

*****

While in a drug store

Mr. Bean: I’d like some vitamins for my grandson.

Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?

Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn’t know the alphabet yet!!

****

Doctor : I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor.

Mr. Bean : Yesss!!! (Jumps in joy)

Doctor : Did you understand what I just told you?

Mr. Bean : Yes of course,do you think I'm dumb?

Doctor : Then,why are you so happy?

Mr. Bean : Because that proves that I have a brain!

*****

Interviewer: what is your birth date?

Mr Bean: 13th October

Interviewer: Which year?

Mr Bean:  EVERY YEAR

*****

Interviewer: just imagine you are on the 3rd floor,

it caught fire and how will you escape?

Mr Bean: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

*****

Interviewer: What is difference between Orange and Apple?

Mr Bean: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE

*****

Interviewer: What is common between JESUS, KRISHNA , RAM, GANDHI and BUDHA?

Mr Bean: All are born on government holidays...!!!

*****

After returning back from a foreign trip, Mr Bean asked his wife,

Mr Bean: Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife: No! Why?

Mr Bean: In Delhi a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?

*****

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?

Mr Bean: ZEBRA

Teacher: How?

Mr Bean: Because it is Black & White

*****

Interviewer: Do U know MS Office?

Mr Bean: If U give me the address I will go there sir.

****

MOM

Mr. Bean : (Crying) The doctor called, "Mom's dead".

Friend : Condolence,my friend.

After 2 minutes Mr. Bean cries even louder

Friend : What now?

Mr. Bean : My sister just called,her mom died too!

****

MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING

Colleague : Sorry I'm late.I got stuck in an elevator for 4 hours because of a power failure.

Mr. Bean : That is alright,me too.I got stuck on the escalator for 3 hours.

****

SPELLING LESSON

Mr. Bean's Son :
Dad,what is the spelling of 'successful' ...
Is it one 'c' or two 'c's?

Mr. Bean : Make it three 'c's to be sure!

****

MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL

Teacher: What is 5 plus 4?

Mr. Bean: 9

Teacher: What is 4 plus 5?

Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you’ve just twisted the figure, the answer is 6!!

****

QUEUING BEHIND HIS FRIEND AT AN ATM MACHINE

Friend: What are you looking at?

Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee.

Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it?

Mr. Bean: four asterisks!

****

Friend: how many women do you believe must a man marry?

Mr. Bean: 16

Friend: Why?

Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4worse.

****

Why is your mother sitting so silently

Father: Why is your mother sitting so silently??

Son:  Nothing dad, she asked me for lipstick, I heard fevistick

Father: God bless you my son!!

My Dad belive in ghosts

Son : hey dad, do you believe in ghosts ??

Dad : theres no such thing as ghosts

Son : but our maid said theres ghosts...

Dad : pack your bags!!!, meet me out in the car, now!!!

Son : why??

Dad : we don't have a maid !!!!