Traffic Court

A young man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.

Young Man : What for ??

Judge : Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!

Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:

Judge : That's all right. You don't have to pay now.

Young Man : I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words.

Doctor and Good news

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."

Patient: "Go with the good news first."

Doctor: "You have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "What?! How about the bad news?"

Doctor: Um... I forgot to tell you yesterday.

Teacher and Naughty Student

Teacher : If there are any idiots in the room,
                will they please stand up

Student : (rose to his feet)

Teacher : Now then mister,
                why do you consider yourself an idiot?!

Student : Well actually I don't,
               but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself....

Why are you late?

Teacher: Why are you late?

Student: Because, of the sign!

Teacher: What sign?

Student: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

Positive Attitude

A baby mosquito came back from his first flying.

His dad asked, "How do you feel?"

He replied, "It was great. Everybody was clapping for me!! "